On being 20

Totally stealing the idea of a letter to your 20-year old self from the Mighty Maggie Mason at the request of Cassie Boorn. I will be sending this to Cassie as well and she might publish it. Or not. It doesn't matter. Well it does but... well that's what self-publishing is all about.

Dear 20 y/o A* -

South Beach can wait. Read this first and then go enjoy a frozen cosmo.

Well you made some biggie decisions last year didn't you? Don't be afraid. Right or wrong, you decided well and it worked out for you.

Yeah you live at home now and it kinda sucks but chin up! You're banking some experience and cash. It pays off.

The parental situation: Listen, they could be so much worse. Yes, they spoil your brother and always will. But they are so, so proud of you. And if you turn out like your mom just a little bit, you'll be OK. Maybe they're a little worried about you; after all you ARE twenty and pretty hot.

On being hot: Please wear those white shorts more! They look amazing on you. It's Florida and your ass has never looked that great in a size 6.

On who you know: You've discovered the gays. And your gays? Those are lifetimers. Several will be your foundation for the next few years. Lean on them, they're not all sass and flair. Overall you are beginning to realize that some friends are lifetimers and others are seasonal shares - that's OK. A seasonal share is supposed to be fun, temporary and just a little crazy. Or a lot crazy.

On being crazy: You think you're crazy. Wrong.

Anxious? Yes. Type-A? Definitely. These things don't make you crazy. Trust me, you don't know from crazy yet. You will meet crazy but not BE crazy.

On boys: Enjoy the flirty kisses, silly conversations and all that attention you're getting. Yes, they like you. They want to see you naked. They're GUYS. You have boobs. It's all they know and frankly, want. Jump in and bask a little.

On YOU: Please use your voice. As much as possible. Your thoughts COUNT and you are so smart. Stop secretly thinking everyone out there is smarter than you, they just aren't afraid to be wrong. BE WRONG. IT'S OK.

Also? No one will ever care about your major. Ever. Study and finish it out. Oh, that statistics all-nighter works out just fine by the way. And you will NEVER need statistics or that report again. True story.

All that Miami-ness, the chusmeria around you? Soak it in. Your heritage, your affinity for the Cuban tongue (yeah, insert inevitable dirty joke here) is glorious. People will check with you for authentic Cuban restaurants so eat up all the platanos, palomilla and frijoles you can shove your face into. Don't forget those pastelitos either. Guava gets hard to come by later on.

Kiss your grandfather. Often. You're the best thing in his life.

Look , I am not going to sugarcoat or spoil it. You're going to make some missteps and wind up where you don't want to. It will all lead to the right place and the right person. Embrace the changes, accept your beauty and laugh out loud as often as you can.

Enjoy that cosmo. And don't be afraid to shake your ass a little more tonight - it burns some extra calories and helps my white shorts argument.

Love,

30-something A*

Overtime and Overdue

A couple weeks ago I got thrown some new business at work. Interesting and fairly exciting stuff offering me a world of opportunity.

Allegedly.

(We throw the word "opportunity" around quite a bit and it mostly means "shining up a turd JUST FOR YOU" so excuse me if I don't leap at all "opportunities.")

And while this meant exposure to be my charming and lovely self to potential clients AND the partners of the agency, it also meant that the 4 days I set aside to move from a large 3 BR home to a much smaller 2 BR town home became about a day and half of sorta-packing-while-checking-email-and-going-to-meetings. I worked through the weekend before the move leaving my husband to take care of the packing. I traveled to the prospects location a few hours away with the "importants" and sat next to my CEO at dinner AND breakfast while the hubs picked up my dad, who flew in to help us pack and move. I planned packing around meetings. I gave up the last two days completely to sit in the office and do NOTHING because they wanted someone "on the ground." Too bad I didn't land any flights that day.

So today I decided..."Fuck it. I am taking two days off." Only I'm now all... *whistle whistle* What should I do?

Right now I am getting my car serviced. Check.

Later I am going to make my own pickles. Check

Before later I am going for a run on my favorite trail. Check.

......

......

Now what? I have thousands of things on the "to do" only I kinda don't want to do them. For instance, my hoarding-lite husband has a garage full of STUFF and I want it gone. We also can't find our wedding albums so...I should probably find those. Our house needs to be cleaned. Clearly I don't feel like doing that. Sigh.

OK... impromptu list of random stuff:

1) People have stupid ring tones. Also, they ring forever and ever before the owner notices it's their phone.

2) I get really excited when I see people reading the crappy novel series that I love. I immediately want to walk over and totally ruin the whole series for them by telling them what happens. I manage to suppress the urge.

3) Do people still watch soap operas? Because just hearing the dialogue kills me.

4) Why is blogger telling me that "dialogue" isn't a word? Stupid blogger.

5) Ooooh mojitos would be good right now.