Horrible Thought of the Day

Original post date 2/4.

Thought? Timeless.

Ever meet someone and think... meh.

There's nothing wrong with this person. They're perfectly nice, appropriately social and everyone else you know likes them too. Only for you... meh.

What? I am judgy. The title of this site isn't "joyously perfect."

My job sucks

That's all really.

About the Unfinishes?

Remember when I said there were 7 unfinished posts? I lied. There's 20 unfinished posts. So I went back to the very first unfinished - 11/7/07. Yeah....SLACKER. Believe it or not - I remember what I was talking about so I finished it out. Please note: this will not be the case with all 20.

Also? blogger publishes your finished drafts according to your start date - not your publish date.

Blogger SHOWS you what a slacker I am. Awesome.

http://seriouslyblah.blogspot.com/2007/11/little-white-lies.html

About Me #1

My super-cool, incredibly insane workplace designed this awesome intranet with pretty colors and pictures and digital coolness. However, they did away with the About Me survey and replaced it with a blank slate. Ugh. I hate that. It's like a job interviewl when someone says "Tell us about yourself!" And all of a sudden, you're all... "Uhhhhhhhhh, I like sunshine! And puppies! But I hate broccoli." You sound like an asshole. Like you've never met YOURSELF. Now try writing it down.

Yeah... sucks, right?

Once I felt "The Funny" I blew off the next three hours of work and wrote my About Me, tweaked my About Me, spell-checked my About Me, etc. Then I published it. Then I tweaked some more. Then I noticed I missed a hyphen. Then I realized that I forgot to mention Mad Men.

Now the About Me is a full-fledged project. Every month I will rewrite my About Me and post it here. Because I should talk about myself as much as possible on the Internet right?

Awesome.

#1

I've always been passionate about books, reading and generally getting as much information into my head as possible. This includes magazines, blogs and Facebook articles. Occasionally an US Weekly may fall into the pile but not every week. The passion ends at calculus, statistics or anything related to "math." And Nicholas Sparks.

Food. I love food and love to cook. I firmly believe Gusteau's rule: If you can read, you can cook. I would also add if you can follow directions, you can cook. If you can't do any of those, take-out is your new bestie.

I excel at talking...and eating and pointing out grammatical/spelling errors in emails and on forums. No, I am not a proofer, I just play one on TV. Wonder if there's an opening on Mad Men... hint, hint Weiner.

As a new runner, I spend time talking about running, hating running, loving running and planning running routes. Please see above re: books & eating.

I try to live off line as much as possible. But when I do get sucked in I keep up on blogs - Dooce, TWoP, Gawker. And of course the conglomerate of social - Facebook. I follow people on Twitter as long as they make me laugh in 140 characters or less. Also Sassy Gay Friend - Romeo and Juliet. Haven't seen it? Go watch it. You're welcome.

PLEASE talk to me in person. Or call me (hint hint Weiner) if you need to get something done, tell me a funny story or discuss Modern Family. Sometimes I hide somewhere in the agency. This is not a one-sided game of hide-and-seek, IM me and I will come find you to discuss any of the things above or the other 4 trillion things that bop around in my head on a given day (i.e. shoes, chocolate, the beach, will it snow this year, etc).

7 Posts

Well shit. I have neglected you! BAD BLOGGER.

If I were slightly more important, I would have a guest blogger but I am not so ... meh.

Apologies Internet. Or more appropriately - the 3 people who check my blog.

All the excuses are lined up and ready to go. But you know them already don't you?

BUSY at work!

BUSY at life!

BUSY at not knowing what to write! Or worse, not even thinking about writing.

What is it about blogging (or writing for that matter) that immediately makes me think I can only do it when I am feeling "the funny"? Now my last post wasn't necessarily funny but more inspired - but still - do you only write when you're inspired?

Oh I got all deep there for a second. I know, weird right?!

But seriously, I have about 7 posts that have been started and never finished. Probably because it got late or someone looked over my shoulder at work or my client pissed me off. Or (and let's be real here) I got up to pee, talked to someone on my way out of the bathroom, checked my email, got pulled into a meeting, the client asked for something stupid and then ooooh LUNCH.

See? IT HAPPENS. Stop judging me.

But back to those 7 posts. They're...meh. Like the idea was there ... and then it wasn't. BLERG.

Or... I knew what I wanted to say but the writing sucked (please see current post). God that's annoying.

Here's my promise to you Internet - I will publish those 7 posts. Some of them finished, some of them not but they will go up there. You know, I should probably check back before I make this promise. But ... eff it. Also? It may be more or less than 7. See? I told you I should check.

Feel free to complain, praise or stay eerily silent.

On being 20

Totally stealing the idea of a letter to your 20-year old self from the Mighty Maggie Mason at the request of Cassie Boorn. I will be sending this to Cassie as well and she might publish it. Or not. It doesn't matter. Well it does but... well that's what self-publishing is all about.

Dear 20 y/o A* -

South Beach can wait. Read this first and then go enjoy a frozen cosmo.

Well you made some biggie decisions last year didn't you? Don't be afraid. Right or wrong, you decided well and it worked out for you.

Yeah you live at home now and it kinda sucks but chin up! You're banking some experience and cash. It pays off.

The parental situation: Listen, they could be so much worse. Yes, they spoil your brother and always will. But they are so, so proud of you. And if you turn out like your mom just a little bit, you'll be OK. Maybe they're a little worried about you; after all you ARE twenty and pretty hot.

On being hot: Please wear those white shorts more! They look amazing on you. It's Florida and your ass has never looked that great in a size 6.

On who you know: You've discovered the gays. And your gays? Those are lifetimers. Several will be your foundation for the next few years. Lean on them, they're not all sass and flair. Overall you are beginning to realize that some friends are lifetimers and others are seasonal shares - that's OK. A seasonal share is supposed to be fun, temporary and just a little crazy. Or a lot crazy.

On being crazy: You think you're crazy. Wrong.

Anxious? Yes. Type-A? Definitely. These things don't make you crazy. Trust me, you don't know from crazy yet. You will meet crazy but not BE crazy.

On boys: Enjoy the flirty kisses, silly conversations and all that attention you're getting. Yes, they like you. They want to see you naked. They're GUYS. You have boobs. It's all they know and frankly, want. Jump in and bask a little.

On YOU: Please use your voice. As much as possible. Your thoughts COUNT and you are so smart. Stop secretly thinking everyone out there is smarter than you, they just aren't afraid to be wrong. BE WRONG. IT'S OK.

Also? No one will ever care about your major. Ever. Study and finish it out. Oh, that statistics all-nighter works out just fine by the way. And you will NEVER need statistics or that report again. True story.

All that Miami-ness, the chusmeria around you? Soak it in. Your heritage, your affinity for the Cuban tongue (yeah, insert inevitable dirty joke here) is glorious. People will check with you for authentic Cuban restaurants so eat up all the platanos, palomilla and frijoles you can shove your face into. Don't forget those pastelitos either. Guava gets hard to come by later on.

Kiss your grandfather. Often. You're the best thing in his life.

Look , I am not going to sugarcoat or spoil it. You're going to make some missteps and wind up where you don't want to. It will all lead to the right place and the right person. Embrace the changes, accept your beauty and laugh out loud as often as you can.

Enjoy that cosmo. And don't be afraid to shake your ass a little more tonight - it burns some extra calories and helps my white shorts argument.

Love,

30-something A*

Overtime and Overdue

A couple weeks ago I got thrown some new business at work. Interesting and fairly exciting stuff offering me a world of opportunity.

Allegedly.

(We throw the word "opportunity" around quite a bit and it mostly means "shining up a turd JUST FOR YOU" so excuse me if I don't leap at all "opportunities.")

And while this meant exposure to be my charming and lovely self to potential clients AND the partners of the agency, it also meant that the 4 days I set aside to move from a large 3 BR home to a much smaller 2 BR town home became about a day and half of sorta-packing-while-checking-email-and-going-to-meetings. I worked through the weekend before the move leaving my husband to take care of the packing. I traveled to the prospects location a few hours away with the "importants" and sat next to my CEO at dinner AND breakfast while the hubs picked up my dad, who flew in to help us pack and move. I planned packing around meetings. I gave up the last two days completely to sit in the office and do NOTHING because they wanted someone "on the ground." Too bad I didn't land any flights that day.

So today I decided..."Fuck it. I am taking two days off." Only I'm now all... *whistle whistle* What should I do?

Right now I am getting my car serviced. Check.

Later I am going to make my own pickles. Check

Before later I am going for a run on my favorite trail. Check.

......

......

Now what? I have thousands of things on the "to do" only I kinda don't want to do them. For instance, my hoarding-lite husband has a garage full of STUFF and I want it gone. We also can't find our wedding albums so...I should probably find those. Our house needs to be cleaned. Clearly I don't feel like doing that. Sigh.

OK... impromptu list of random stuff:

1) People have stupid ring tones. Also, they ring forever and ever before the owner notices it's their phone.

2) I get really excited when I see people reading the crappy novel series that I love. I immediately want to walk over and totally ruin the whole series for them by telling them what happens. I manage to suppress the urge.

3) Do people still watch soap operas? Because just hearing the dialogue kills me.

4) Why is blogger telling me that "dialogue" isn't a word? Stupid blogger.

5) Ooooh mojitos would be good right now.